Choice

People think it's such a great idea to get out of school so you can enjoy 3-month-long holidays ... well, they're right and they're wrong. Because while 3 months off further education is a boon in anyone's book, it inevitably leads to incredible boredom.

Having been off school since early November, I've had a lot of time to ponder the end of high school. And it's not such a great thing. You feel like you're back at the start of yet another stage of higher learning, only last time it was just high school where you still had escape routes and your life hadn't taken path yet. But when entering university, you better hope you get lucky and choose something you'll enjoy, because if not, there's no easy escape route.

What if, for example, I don't enjoy studying in Canberra? My friends have been phenomenal to me in Perth - despite the fact that I seem to miss many social outings due to miscommunication - but I think I could make new, lifelong ones in the Eastern States. I should be able to exist independently without the safety net of my family. But what concerns me most is the course itself. Actuary has a very high drop-out rate, as it's a drawn-out, boring, and very difficult course. The mathematics involved is highly abstract and you have to really enjoy maths - not just be good at maths but enjoy it - to stick with it. I do enjoy maths (a shocking discovery I made only last year) so the 'stickability' factor, as Tim Winton's Cloudstreet would put it, shouldn't be a problem. But if the maths is really so complicated, and so abstract, that I fear I would soon be crying out for release.

The alternative is Medicine here. Yes, I realise it's what a lot of my friends will be doing, but it's a career path that never really jumped out at me. As john's pointed out, I like finding out how people click, so psychiatry has become a distinct possibility. However it's a six-year course - and that's just the university component. Add in the fact that it cuts like hell into your family life because of insane working hours, and it's a less-than-tantalising proposition.

It all depends on what your heart feels is right, I guess. If you believe in God, as I do, you'd pray for guidance, but how do you know when you're being answered? It's a decision I would rather not make alone, but the final choice is ultimately mine. I just wish someone would go make it clearer!!

And a recent traumatic event in a friend's life has made me realise what consequences that plunging into a decision can have. It really requires a lot of thought, and to this friend of mine who's now deep in depression because he thinks he made the wrong choice, he has all my sincerest sympathy (if he reads this blog). I can only hope I make the right choice by everyone.